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E M Forster: 'Only connect'
In my own words:
In India there is a form of expression that is 'Satyam, Shivam, Sundharam'. It sums everything up: Truth is Beauty, and Beauty is Joy.

Bearing that in mind, then, what matters to me, here, is meaningful conversation that communicates something of the inner beauty of living and nurtures it in another. To have a real relationship of listening and responding kindly, thoughtfully and sensitively to another human being. Is that possible, in sincerity, in the online world? Perhaps, and then perhaps not. Maybe one can be 'surprised by joy' and so one remains open-minded to the possibility that this kind of genuineness can be found without imposture on sites. These are so-called adult sites, but 'adult' in what sense is oftentimes far from clear. Much of what I flicked through suggests a childlike way of being in the world - so-called 'fun person' profiles - and a considerable suggestion of 'walking after one's own lusts'.

If there is no real human connection possible, it is better to move on, having learnt. But I should like to try, at least. There is no agenda here: only a desire to establish a real human connection and nothing more. I don't want anything: I am secure and have all that I need; and I am grounded and secure emotionally and personally. Nor do I want or seek to exploit anyone or engage in a 'play of masks', that is so appallingly prevalent online and among those who 'have eyes but do not see, and ears but do not hear'. Each to his or her own, yes, but there is a depth and richness of life, its loveliness and freshness moment-to-moment and we must choose not just 'what we [think we] want' but what we really want, if we are to flourish and be happy.

There is no wish for anything on my part, but to be a friend to anyone who wishes to write. There is no 'agenda', particularly no secular or sensual or materialistic agenda that dehumanises the other and does not really fulfil: indeed, it's tantamount to a kind of abuse. Is it possible to relate to another human being from higher motivations and a purity of relation? To dethrone oneself and put someone else at the centre?

Please do not write if what I've briefly detailed does not speak to your heart and mind. I am offering love and concern, discussion and dignity, encouragement through any hardship or sadness, an exploration of ideas on the human themes that are part of all our lives. It is to put you at the centre in the most sensitive and respectful way I can. It is about being present, despite not being physically present.

My own life is deeply fulfilled. I feel gratitude and joy. It is because I know the contrast, because we have all been 'in the soup' in life that I want to reach out - and this is one way among many possibilities - to do so. Altruism - not seeking for oneself - is the most deeply personal and the most liberating thing I know.

Concerning profile and self-presentation on the site, it assumes (and displays in its limited range of options) not much that can be usefully completed. I have been obliged to tick boxes that don't capture who or what I am, simply because one cannot otherwise submit the form. That in itself perhaps reflects the expectations of the site creators about the vast majority of their users. That said, one can always ask, if there is wish to know anything, during a conversation.

Life really is 'a many-splendoured thing', in all its height and depth and breadth.

I would be delighted to hear from you.

Do write, and I will certainly write back.
English, Urdu
Body type:
6' 2"
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Social Setting:
Better in small groups
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Home and Family
Professional Life
Listening to Music
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